


Time and Heart to spare

by BlueJayDragon



Series: Not who we once were [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Artist!Levi, Asexual!Mikasa, Athletic!Levi, Demisexual!Levi, Ereri if you squint, Fluff, Growing Up Together, Light Angst, Might have Mikasa with a romantic relationship, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Related, Multi, Older!Mikasa, Reincarnation, Singer!Mikasa, Trans Character, Writer!Mikasa, introspective, mentions of bullying, no parents were killed in the making of this fanfic, younger!Levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueJayDragon/pseuds/BlueJayDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>“She was strong, and she had grey eyes like me and you, momma, and She had two best friends she fought beside, and did anything to protected them. Like a guardian angel.” She said in a slightly wistful tone, swinging her arms back and forth as she spoke. </em><br/> <br/><em>Her parents shared had a glace, she was very mature for her age, but to be thinking of soldiers was very strange. But what was to be done. Their daughter was a storyteller, so they were happy to play along.</em></p>
<p>  <em>They had both smiled at her, her mother’s soft grey eyes crinkling at the corners as she knelt down in the grass beside her, “Who was she fighting love?” she asked, wanting to bolster her daughter’s budding imagination</em></p>
<p>  <em>“Titans” she replied simply, Her eyes turning slightly blank like she was looking through her, then turned away, the skirt of her yellow sundress twirling in the wind like the people in her mind had over rooftops.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Time and Heart to spare

**Author's Note:**

> This is my First Fanfic, and all comments and critics you would like to give are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Enjoy!

She was born with ghosts at her heels

Dreams of a world that had never been

Her mind told her stories of three friends, wings, walls and giants.

And she and her parents never took them as anything other than that. Stories.

Only a child’s imagining.

Because she was born into a place without war, no cruelty noticeable to a child.

Mikasa lived in small world that included her Momma and Papa, Aimi and Fredric Aris-Nakamura, and their apartment in the hills of San Francisco, the view letting them drink in the endless city, sky, and ocean that surrounded them.

The first time she told them how another girl named Mikasa, the one in her dreams, was a soldier with shining blades and wings on her back, She was 3 and They had been at her uncle's vineyard for a wedding of one of her mother’s cousins, relaxing in a field filled with wild flowers away from the house where other’s were bustling to get everything set up.

“She was strong, and she had grey eyes like me and you, momma, and She had two best friends she fought beside, and did anything to protected them. Like a guardian angel.” She said in a slightly wistful tone, swinging her arms back and forth as she spoke.

Her parents shared a glace, she was very mature for her age, but to be thinking of soldiers was very strange. But what was to be done. Their daughter was a storyteller, so they were happy to play along.

They had both smiled at her, her mother’s soft grey eyes crinkling at the corners as she knelt down in the grass beside her, “Who was she fighting love?” she asked, wanting to bolster her daughter’s budding imagination

“Titans” she replied simply, Her eyes turning slightly blank like she was looking through her, then turned away, the skirt of her yellow sundress twirling in the wind like the people in her mind had over rooftops.

Her mother looked at her husband, both smiling and shaking their heads “Titans...huh, must be that mythology book we've been reading to her.”

They looked on as their daughter walked further into the field, picking flowers and dancing around with the butterflies. Something soldiers never had the luxury of doing. This world was only beautiful to her. Only butterflies and moths, no praying mantises.

When they collected her, she smiled and said “she grew up in a place like this.” and nothing further, as they walked to the villa. Because the memories were foggy and distant, her mind or her guardian angel shielding her from the tragedies.

Vague faces and feeling came sifting through the shroud, few words like Titans or Scouts or Humanity’s Strongest.

Her guardian angel’s friends.

As Mikasa got older, more and more details came through.

“A boy with tan skin and huge expressive blue green eyes, He was her brother. Eren.  
And another boy with blonde hair and books and wits, Armin. They had lived in a town together, Where Eren’s dad was a doctor. It was called Swinganshweena” Her plump 4 year old cheeks reddening as she struggled to wrap her tongue around the large word, her eyes shining as she continued “Armin lived with his grandpa and he brought them books, about flaming seas, icy lands, and snowy fields of sand outside wall Maria.”

Her parents were amazed by the fantastic detail she told of them, how intricately she had made their characters. She told them about training, and about other friends, like one she called Horseface Jean and how he and Eren didn't get along. A bald kid was friends with a red haired girl who had to run a lot because she ate a potato, and cold blonde girl who was very strong like her Angel and who helped Eren get strong, too. And there was a little man who was very strong and Eren respected him a lot. She called him Captain.

And how they all spoke German, While her Papa spoke some French, Momma spoke some Japanese, and she spoke English with a splash of all three.

The first time they went to the beach, her eyes seemed cold and sad even with the shine of awe as she looked at the endless expanse of water, “They wished to see this most” she said, and then, as if a switch had been flipped, she gasped in excitement and and ran laughing toward the surf.

As Mikasa told them stories, they started to write it down, “Like a real storybook” they said “One day, when you learn to write you can add to it, and maybe someday you can get it published, So more people get to hear this wonderful tale of yours.”

When She entered preschool, she made friends with the caretakers and the children a like by telling them about the other world. The caretakers were wowed by her talent and the children made games based around it like ‘tag the titan’ and ‘flying scouts’

The directors were slightly concerned with the fact that a four year old was telling a story with soldiers, and brought it up with her parent, to which they simply replied “She’s a smart cookie, and she notices things. Her stories are happy ones anyway, so we see no point worrying. We can’t shield her from her own mind.”

And only happy tales her mind supplied, the rest seemingly dissipating like smoke on the breeze. Seems as if her ghosts had been replaced by fables.

After a day at school Her parents happily announced that she would have another person to tell her tale soon and a new addition to the family. She lived in wonderment for the following months as her Mother grew bigger, her body like a balloon slowing filling with the breath of another life. As the due date got nearer Mikasa started to pick up more slack around the house, cleaning, helping with the dishes and cooking, anything to make her mothers life easier. Her thoughts were concerned more and more with the baby and less her guardian angel.

They were all excited because it seemed that the baby would come around new years.  
As She and her dad were washing dishes on the twentieth of december, a now 5 year old Mikasa pondered that date well she perched on her step stool in front of the sink.

“Papa, If the baby is born on exactly midnight would that mean we would celebrate their birthday for two days?” her face scrunched slightly in thought. Her dad laughed, “Yeah, and they’d get twice the presents, too.” she pouted “Not fair” Her dad chuckled and then coughed as she elbowed him in the ribs “Not fair Papa! I want two birthdays. If they get two birthdays I do too!”

He smiled and ruffled her hair making her blush “Of Course you will darling, But you know it’s very unlikely to happen. The baby comes when the baby comes, They could be early or late. They could be born on christmas instead so don’t worry your little head about it.” He kissed her forehead and then he turned back to the sink and resumed his work, Mikasa following suit but he could have sworn he heard the words ‘I still want two birthdays’ muttered from beside him.

~

Mikasa wonder if her Papa had a guardian angel who could tell the future instead of stories, as she sat in the waiting room of the St. Francis Memorial Hospital maternity ward at nearly midnight on Christmas Eve.

She became unsettled by the screams and shouts of her mother, and something shifted in the shroud of her mind. A gut feeling that she wanted to go away.

An hour Before, Mikasa had her father’s warm hands squeezing her’s, reassuring her that it was all going to be fine and keeping the shadows at bay. But the Nurses that had been frantically milling around them had taken him back with them because Her mother wanted him with her. All the noises, beeping of machines, the doctors voices, footsteps, her mother muffled cries blended together into one loud drone that seemed to get louder, she covered her ears and the booming of her heart in them reminded her of something she didn’t want to hear. She screw her eyes shut.

Footsteps. Giant footsteps. Getting closer and closer.  


Boom

no

Boom

please, no

Boom

not like this

Then everything became quiet, and the shadows receded as she felt a hand touch her arm gently. she looked up slowly, a nurse with kind eyes was kneeling in front of her with a handful of tissues. The Nurse gave her a reassuring smile and wiped away the tears she hadn’t even realised she had shed. “I know this can be scary, but it’s over now, okay sweety? Your mother’s fine and she wants you to come and see the baby.”

Her eyes widened, footsteps forgotten.

The baby.

She jumped from her seat and followed the nurse to the room.

When she opened the door Mikasa saw her parents looking with absolute adoration at the bundle in her Mother’s arms. Her mother looked tired but happy and Mikasa felt relief spread through her. Her mother looked up and smiled “MIkasa, darling, come here.” she walked forward quickly, almost leaping on to the bed, her excitement barely contained.

“meet your baby brother” She stared at the little tiny thing. It was squishy and veiny and the very opposite of the word cute. But she loved it. It was her brother and she loved it.

“do you want to hold him?” She nodded quickly a smiles spreading across her face, not trusting her voice because she felt like she was about to cry.

Her own baby brother. And she got to hold him. Wrapping her arms around the tiny bundle, with careful tenderness, because she didn’t want to disturb this perfect thing, this new life.

she stared down at him, sparse black hairs on his head and his tiny eyes closed.

Maybe she could write a story about this too.

She barely register the doctor clearing his throat quietly to get her parents attention as she sat gazing at her brother.

“We still need a name. What will it be?” Her parents glanced at each other.

“Koji?” Her mother asked, her husband shook his head.

But mikasa gazed intently at the tiny boy, who was beginning to stir, his little arms flailing slightly.

“Adrian”

the boy turned his head and whined.

“No, Sora”

“Eric”

“Hiroto”

“Leon?”

The baby opened it’s eyes and look up at her. Something got caught in her throat, all the air seemed to leave the room.  
No. All the shadows came crawling back in. No. It can’t be.

Those eyes. She knew those eyes. Those small, dark, eyes. How could a newborn have such old eyes?

The fog from her mind cleared and the footsteps came back.

The cruelty

The praying mantis

The blood

The monsters

No mothers, No guardian angels. Just the war,

She stared into those old eyes. A grim reminder

And the ghost that came to haunt her.

 

_Captain_

 

“Levi”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading. I have a lot on my plate right and other works I'm getting ready to post but I will try to update as soon as I can!
> 
> love to you all!


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